In today’s dynamic and increasingly globalized work environment, difficult conversations are unavoidable—but they don’t have to be destructive. In fact, when approached with care, curiosity, and cultural awareness, they can be powerful opportunities for building trust, improving collaboration, and strengthening workplace culture.
At People First Elevation Team (PFET), we believe that leading through conflict is one of the most essential (and often overlooked) skills for senior business and people leaders. In this conversation, Jeff Bond, Executive Partner at PFET, sits down with Vicki Hudson, also an Executive Partner at PFET and one of the top executive coaches on conflict, culture, and communication, to explore how to effectively prepare for, engage in, and follow through on tough conversations that ultimately shape stronger, healthier teams.
Why Avoidance Makes Conflict Worse
As Jeff shares, one of the most damaging patterns in organizational culture is avoiding difficult conversations. Silence, passive aggression, or surface-level compliance may offer short-term peace but breed long-term resentment. When left unaddressed, conflict festers—leading to broken trust, low morale, and poor performance.
Key Avoidance Patterns:
- Silence: Withholding feedback or concerns
- Aggression/Passive Aggression: Shutting down dialogue or fueling tension
- Compliance: Agreeing outwardly while harboring inner resentment
Avoiding these patterns requires leaders to foster psychological safety and give their teams permission to speak openly—even when it’s uncomfortable.
Respecting Cultural Differences in Conflict
As Vicki emphasizes, conflict styles differ greatly across cultures. What may appear as avoidance in one culture could be thoughtful reflection in another. Leaders with a global mindset must take these cultural nuances into account to avoid misjudging intentions or escalating conflict unnecessarily.
Tip: Offer multiple channels for feedback—anonymous surveys, one-on-ones, follow-up meetings—so that all employees have safe, accessible ways to voice concerns.
Preparation: The Antidote to Reactivity
Walking into a hard conversation unprepared often leads to emotionally reactive behavior. Before engaging, leaders should:
- Clarify the Goal: What outcome are you hoping for? Resolution? Accountability? Improvement?
- Lead with Curiosity: Assume there is more to the story. Asking questions fosters understanding.
- Pause Before Responding: Use the Four-Second Rule to collect your thoughts and shift from the reactive brain to the reasoning brain.
“Tell me more” is one of the most effective tools in any difficult conversation. It invites depth and builds connection.” — Vicki Hudson
A Simple Framework for Difficult Conversations: AAPP
Vicki shares a powerful model for navigating tough conversations with respect and clarity:
AAPP = Acknowledge, Agree, Pivot, Perspective
- Acknowledge the concern or emotion expressed.
- Agree on any common ground (even if small).
- Pivot the conversation by signaling you want to share your view.
- Perspective is shared using “In my experience…” or “From my perspective…”
This method allows for honesty without escalating tension, creating space for productive dialogue across diverse perspectives.
The Cost of Inaction—and the Power of Trust
Senior leaders set the tone. If conflict is swept under the rug at the executive level, it will ripple throughout the organization. But when handled with care, difficult conversations can become moments of breakthrough.
“Trust is built in the tough moments. Don’t shy away from them. Lean in.” — Jeff Bond
As our workplaces become more distributed and culturally diverse, it’s not enough to talk about values like respect and inclusion—they must be practiced in the day-to-day interactions, especially when tensions arise.
Final Takeaways for People-First Leaders
✅ Normalize difficult conversations as part of a healthy culture
✅ Lead with emotional intelligence and curiosity
✅ Consider global and individual communication styles
✅ Use frameworks like AAPP to stay grounded and clear
✅ Build trust by listening deeply and following through
🎧 Want to hear the full conversation?
